Sympathy or Empathy

Well, life is weird. It was 1999; I went to Hyderabad to attend my cousin’s marriage. I was there wandering and enjoying every part of it. It was as usual an extravagant Hindu marriage. We have this tradition of dancing and throwing money to show our happiness but basically we show our opulence. There were few poor daily laborers carrying the decorative lights along with us. I saw a women in early twenties pregnant and carrying one of the lights. Whenever we threw some money, she tried to pick it up but because of the decorative light, which she carried on her head and her pregnancy she was not able to. All the other laborers being male were able to do so. I could feel her desperation for the money. She tried many times but all her efforts went in vain. I don’t know what her family and financial situation was but it seemed it was not good, otherwise who will have the courage to do such a daring thing. Well, what could I say, that was one of the most horrendous experiences of my lifetime. Here we were enjoying the pageantry of Hindu marriage and there that woman was dying for a bill of ten rupees, risking her life and her unborn child. My dad gave her some money seeing her condition but did it really helped. I suppose not.

Don’t sympathize but empathize. Try to imagine the mental and physical trauma she was going through, hoping to get that thrown money so she could help support her and her family. I have no words how I feel about that woman and if given a chance I want to meet her, see what she is going through and help her if I could.

I realized that this is how life goes in India. Rich become richer and poor become poorer. People are dying just because people like us waste much of our time in either writing these blogs or reading them. People go and watch a three hour melodrama like Rang De Basanti. The Rang De Basanti phenomenon is a waste of time. How can it appeal to people. Go and kill, kill and kill. This is not going to solve the problem. There is a need to change one’s own thinking. One should be ready not to look at these politicians and ask them to redeem themselves but to help people who really need your help. Working at the root level and helping the “real” poor, that is what going to change the society and create a better world where there will be no such horrendous experiences. Each one of us should take a vow to eliminate the sufferings of the people to the best possible. Once again, when you see somebody in real pain, just empathize and not sympathize and I am sure the “real” you is going to help them “really!”